Stuff you may find useful

Now I’ve done a proper firework display, here are my tips for getting it set up and making sure it all goes off smoothly.

1. Choose quality over quantity. Buy nice fireworks, and not too many of them. 15 minutes of mediocrity is way worse than 5 minutes of awesomeness.
2. Get a good mix of cakes and rockets. Make sure you have at least one decent rocket in there. People love rockets. I was missing some from my display, I wish I’d had one decent rocket to go near the end.
3. Don’t leave gaps. Set them all off one after the other to keep it flowing. Leading to the next tip…
4. Whether using an electronic firing system or not, note how long each firework  lasts for (you should find videos of them online, assuming you’re not just buying a selection box from Tesco) and time the start of each one so you light the other just before the current one finishes. Err on the side of too much overlap.
5. Make sure you’ve got enough room to have the display. When a firework says “minimum distance 25 metres” it means it.
6. Use proper portfires if you’re not using an electronic firing system. Don’t use matches or a gas lighter or whatever. Portfires are cheap, they don’t go out (I tried to stub one out in wet grass and failed) and useful for something I’ll explain later on.
7. If you do have an electronic firing system, test it beforehand. Buy some cheap rockets and test fire. Also test setting it up in the dark, as this is what you may be doing on the night.
8. Waterproof your fireworks with clingfilm. Do it well. Don’t go crazy but fireworks will happily break through clingfilm, or even better some clear swing-bin liners.
9. Make sure the fuses do not get damp. Plan for rain, so consider how you will protect electronic fuses if wet. If using portfires then you can wrap some sellotape around the fuse to protect it – the portfire will burn straight through the sellotape.
10. Plan the pacing of your display. Get it going, and don’t just have it all loud, have some quieter bits.
11. Take your time to set it up properly. It took me most of the day to get my display set up, which was 25 items.
12. Wear safety equipment!! Goggles are a must, and earplugs if you’ve got sensitive ears. Dress appropriately. If you’re going to be near a firework as it goes off, remember that bits will be falling out of the sky on you!
13. A headtorch is always good as it keeps your hands free.
14. Have a count down to the first firework! Just set it off on time…!

I’ve received quite a few CVs for a web role and I have fairly strong opinions over what I like and I don’t like.

A CV is an introductory document to a company about you. It represents you. It’s like having a little you sat there in someone’s hand going “Hire me!”. Make sure that the little version of you sat there in their hand looks bright and smart.

I’ve compiled a few hints and tips for people writing CVs. Not all of these will apply to all roles. In some industries you’ll actively hinder your chances by following some of these tips. I’m talking about the computer industry because that’s all I know about.

1. Spell properly. Use a spell checker. Get a friend to check it. Spelling mistakes make you look lazy. Even if you’re dyslexic you can still get a spell checker to work.
2. For words that can’t be spell checked, double-check them or get a friend to do it. “Google” isn’t in the dictionary. However you know it begins with a capital letter, right? “jQuery” is not called “JQuery”. Get all the proper nouns right.
3. List relevant work experience. If you don’t have any, don’t list it. I’ve seen people listing work in their local Co-Op on their CV. I don’t care about working behind a till. I used to stack shelves in Tesco when I was a teenager. It has no bearing on my ability to do my job.
4. If you’ve got a gap in time, where not much useful happened, be honest about it. Say “I decided to take a sabbatical from work” or something. Sure, some places might use this against you but leaving a large gap is only going to invite them to ask what you were doing with yourself.
5. DO NOT SAY “I CAN WORK EQUALLY WELL AS AN INDIVIDUAL OR AS PART OF A TEAM”. It’s the kind of thing someone puts when they have nothing to say. Talk about actual individual achievements and actual team achievements.
   
6. Personal projects can count for plenty if they’re done with some quality and enthusiasm. Just because you’re not paid to do something doesn’t make it worthless. If you run an occasional workshop teaching people how to walk on their elbows, list it. It’s an interesting thing, and shows you can lead a group and you’re not a misanthrope. The fact it is not directly relevant to the job isn’t terrible.
7. Keep the CV short. Less than one page is a bit too short in my view but four pages is way too long.
8. Don’t list your GCSE results. The only exception might be if you’re 18, you’ve decided to do not go to uni and get a job, and you want to show off your list of A*s. If you’ve got a degree, don’t even list what you did. Why would you work for someone who cares what A levels you got?
9. Put a synopsis of yourself at the start. It’s like a statement of intent – it tells the person reading it what you think of yourself and what measure to judge you by. So if you put “keen to progress career” somewhere in there, they will know to assess whether you really are.
10. IF YOU ARE EVER ASKED TO STATE A WEAKNESS REMEMBER THAT PERFECTIONISM IS A STRENGTH, NOT A WEAKNESS. As long as you’re not an arsehole.
11. Being with work experience first, then put education. Your work experience counts for more than your education normally, unless you’ve got no work experience.
12. Teamwork happens all the time whenever there is more than one person and people have to interact. It’s not a special preserve of lead developers or people working in high-pressure situations.
13. If it is a web role, list the websites you have built and make clear which ones no longer work. Well-produced personal sites are good.
14. If you have knowledge of a computing area, make sure you list it. Don’t just list the products you worked with. If you know SQL well, make sure it is explicitly listed. Don’t just say “MySQL” or “PostgreSQL” or something. That could mean anything. I’ve interviewed people who listed “MySQL” who could not write a SQL join.
15. I can’t believe I might have to say this, but never lie on a CV. Ever. I would reject outright anyone, no matter how good, who lied on a CV.

Thar’s all I can think of for the time being.

In general I looked for relevant experience, enthusiasm, continuous progression (career changes are fine), and attention to detail. I got some great CVs from some people who I could not hire due to personality mismatches with the company. It only goes to show how powerful the document can be – on a good CV, no one can tell you’re a sociopath.

I noticed on a recent flight on Aegean Air that row 9 and row 24 had more legroom than other rows. The only problem is I forget the type of aircraft but the legroom was in the seats that go up to F, not down to A. The reason was the emergency exits were situated right in front.

Now if only I could recall exactly what type of aircraft it was…